i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
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It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
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You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Those nachos came to me in a dream
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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