9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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