i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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