I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
zippers are such a cool invention
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
