Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Four minutes until I can fart!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize