How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
