he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
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he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
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You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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