is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
