you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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