New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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