Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
