NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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