shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
