So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
