So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
