After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Operation Purity has been aborted
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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