I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
