I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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