I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize