I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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