Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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