But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize