i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
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I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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