My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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