at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
