it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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