We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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