I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i was born a porn star she said
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
