i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
