so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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