scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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