Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
