If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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