But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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