you have to choose: penises or morals?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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