Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
