Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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