I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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