I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
