i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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