oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize