Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
