i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
tell me about the eggs
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
