The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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