Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
