all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
