She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
