Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
