So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Farmville is her only friend.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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