it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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