So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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