we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.