I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.