All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize