I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
