the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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