Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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