flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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