20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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