And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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