your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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